Renae speaks: Journal

Hello
I am so thrilled to be here in 2010. I don't think when I was in high school the thought of speaking to students in high school in the year of 2010 every crossed my mind.. and look here it is and yes I am speaking out, loud and clear.
My family received a really cool gift for Christmas. It was an age progressive picture of Emily to the age of 18 years old.
I will post in the album. NRHEG High School is having a memorial page in the year book this year. JWP High School is having a chair set out in her memory at Graduation. Both of these classes have been very kind to us and we so appreciate the very kind thoughts.
Hope to see you soon.
Keep asking yourself
How Is Your DASH?
Renae

Carrots, Eggs and Coffee

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look
at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her
life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know
how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She
was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one
problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots
with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots
came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second
she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee
beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She
fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She
pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she
ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to
her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the
carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother
then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After
pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.
The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The
daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced
the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However,
after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and
became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell
had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the
boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground
coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the
boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity
knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot,
an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong,
but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and
lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes
with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a
breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I
become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same,
but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and
hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the
hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When
the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you
are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better
and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do
you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle
adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough
trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human
and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way. The brightest future will always be based on
a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of
your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around
you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and
everyone around you is crying.


May we all be COFFEE!!!!!!

Today is Benjamin's 11 year Anniversary of having his shunt implanted. That surgery I feel saved his life. And we are so thankful to Minneapolis Children Hospital to the staff, doctors and nurses.

I want to say THANK YOU to the Freeborn County Family Services Collaborative..Working Together, Serving Families, Improving Lives for organizing the schools in Freeborn County so I could speak to the students. Your students had some good questions and responses to what I had shared. Best Wishes Freeborn County.

What a great summer we just had an amazing event at Prairie River Camp we the "Go Fish" guys for an outdoor concert we had over 700 attend that was totally amazing..
Looking forward to Corn Maze & Pumpkin Patch.. open September 19 thru Oct 31. Saturdays & Sundays 2 to 6 pm.
Come and enjoy all that fall has to offer.. www.prairierivercamp.org

On November 2, 2008
I was given this amazing idea of organizing a night just for Fathers & Daughters.. and on March 7 the idea came into being.. the 1st Father-Daughter Purity Ball in the Mankato, Mn at the Alltel Center. We were thrill to have SOLD Out at 450 people.. we might need 2 nights in 2011.
We are planing a Father -Son event for March 2010.

Hello.....
I am so excited to tell you about this amazing event I have been blessed to help plan.
Father-Daughter Purity Ball
Saturday March 7, 2009
Alltel Center Mankato, Mn
Daughters ages 12 years and older
www.purityballmn.org Dinner, Program, Rose Ceremony, Dancing, and LOTS of Fun!!!


Please help us let people all over Mn know about this.

Merry Christmas to all of you!!
What a special time to celebrate the birth of my Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. Our family is enjoying special time of being together and with family & friends. We are enjoying the 2 week break from school doing lots of fun things together.
Looking forward to a 2009.
Renae & Joel Amanda, Ben and Anna

Hello
I can not begin to Thank YOU!!
You taught Joel & I so much about us. I was an Honor to spend the afternoon. Guys I hope the motorcycle tips were interesting. Ladies I see great things in future for all of you.
Set your sights high and remember the Jar of Life. Keep things in Priority.
God Bless, Joel & Renae

I would like to extend a very special thank you to all of you that I have meet in the last 8 days. I have been touched by your special kind words and hugs and the fact that you took time to share your story with me. I would like you all to know that I believe in this generation and that you can do make a difference!!
Thanks for allowing me in on the DASH of your life. Renae

"the longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, that money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company...a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every cay regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past.. we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our ATTITUDES."

Hello
I hope you are enjoying your summer and what is left of it. This summer has been very exciting for our family as we were blessed to serve at Prairie River Camp Bricelyn Mn all summer long. We live there full time - part of the time. this summer though was full time. I love being here cause it is work and peacefullness all rolled into one.
We had 4 youth camps from Grade school, Middle School, Horse Camp and Worship Dance Camp a total of 165 youth were here and it was incredeble to be apart of it. I am the Asst. Director (aka Boss Lady) here make sure you read it as Boss not Bossy (ha ha). So as the summer is finishing up I am looking for to this fall and the start of the '08-'09 school year. I am starting to book schools for September & October.
This year I would like to work with After Prom Party Committees in hosting me at Schools. If you would like to talk to me give me a call. I would love to visit with you. (who knows I might be in the middle of clean a tolet and need a break....)
Looking forward to a great school year.
Renae

This special poem was written by a special new friend of mine......
Please take time read it ...... I Like it a lot!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The girl who takes her seat in the front of the bus
When everyone else takes the back
The boy who can't sit with the crowd at lunch
sits next to his shadow, next to the wall
The girl with the life all the other girls want
only laughs becuz she has to
and the boy who tried out for the football team
only made it becuz he had to
The girl that Gets all the things she wants
Gets them from her divorced parents
and the boy that always gets the girl
has no parents that are ever home
the girl that has good grades, & is the teachers pet
her family expects that its all she should ever get
and the boy who skates at the park
brakes bones becuz his friends think its cool
The girl that cuts in the dark at home
only cuts so she can have some control
and the boy who does the drugs and smokes
its the only way he can get attention
the girl who seams to be cold hearted
doesn't know how else to act
the boy who punches and hits and annoys
does it becuz he feels hurt
the girl who joins things she hates after school
only joins becuz she scared to go home
the boy who never gets work in on time
has no parents to help him
and the girl who only talks to people on line
only does it cuz she has no real friends
and the boy who jokes and plays video games
doesn't want to face a cruel reality
and the girl who writes and sings and acts
does it to release her emotions
and the boy who likes to listen to, and play music
does it so he can drown out the noise of his life
and the kid who does all of this
and the kid who has all these feelings
that's the one truly left in the dark
the one who is suicidal
The kid whose drunk parents can't pay for a funeral
the one people at school will cry for
and everyone will wonder, "why?"
Why did they do it?
This is the kid who fights for success
and no matter what, fails in someone's eyes
The one who is good enuff
to try make everyone happy
sacrifices his own happiness
and dies
This is the kid who has no real name
the untrue one remains unspoken
But yet that's the kid who has a label or title
The kid whose name is "Everyone..."
By, Shannon Sharp

I have to tell you all that it means a lot to me to have you email and write to me and with that it has come to my attention AGAIN that there are of you that have a lot of tough stuff that you are dealing with and really need help. The issues range from ADDICTION, SELF INJURY, SUICIDE, DEPRESSION, EATING DISORDERS
but, there is HELP!!!
I highly recommended you visit this website. They have live people to visit with you about problems that you may be going threw.
www.heartsupport.com

Emily, to think you would be turning 16 years old today is just incredible . We all miss you and think about you sometimes tears come and other times we laugh. Really it is a true blessing to have had you in our life for those short 6 1/2 years.
I had the opportunity to visit with a family that had their only daughter die and the pain in their eyes were what I felt all these past years. I encouraged them to take it 1 day at a time and that there is a schedule that must be kept. In fact the best thing I think is to lose the calendar and just try to adjust to life now. Thank you for being my teacher in many life lessons. Know that you are missed and that you will always be loved. Love, Mommie

Wow Wee!
-19 degrees the radio said this morning. My son Benjamin said "Mom that is really Cold" 'Soon it will be so Hot this summer.' Isn't GREAT how that works.
In 6 days I spoke 4 times to adults & students. I was thinking how the adult offenders that I spoke to are really in the deeps of Cold in their life. I really wonder if these people realize that in time they can work through this ruff time in their life.
that in 6 months life could be a lot warmer and better.
And that it is worth all the work in the world to get out of the hold that alcohol has on them.
So as you think about the cold also think about the warm weather that is on this way. Are you really ready to enjoy it? Renae

My family is very excited about Christmas with only 4 days before we celebrate Jesus birth... We are so very thankful for all the blessing of 2007 and look forward to a great 2008. God Bless all of you. Renae and Joel and Kids

In our Hearts
We thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new. We thought about you yesterday and days before that too. We think of you in silence. we often speak your name. Now all we have are memories, and your picture in a frame. Your memory is our keepsake, with which we will never part. God has you in his keeping and we have you in our heart.
In loving Memory of Emily Lynn 11/28/98
You'll always be in our hearts! Love Mom, Dad, Amanda, Ben & Anna

How much time am I allowed; are there rules I must go by? Does anyone ever keep track of the thousands tears I cry? Will I someday know the answers, have I figured out in my head? People think they know the answers to all the questions I may ask. But only if you've lost a child, can you understand this task. I'm reading all the books I can, to know what griefs about. But do these rules apply to all? It's hard to figure out. While driving home from work tonight, I feel I'm sinking low. I try to put grief off my mind, but where can I now go? You think grief has a pattern, with a beginning and an end. But I'm grieving for a lifetime, can you understand, my friend? So, when I really need you, will you stay or will you leave? What will be your answer when I ask, "Can I Still Grieve?"
by Debbie Heffinger Toledo, OH

Good Afternoon!!
What a great 2 days of traveling to schools and speaking in Mn.
Today I was so touched by the students response to what I had to share. I had some students sharewith me today. I realize again and again that students are in a lot of pain in their life. They struggle of hurt and pain and now realizing that there are people that want to offer hope and support. My heart was renewed today by the kind words that was shared by these students and now knowing that 1 life has been touched.
I am thankful for all of you students. Renae

What a great week!
I spoke today to a great group of students from Region 2 of FCCLA in Mankato and to Region 6 of FCCLA up at Bertha. Hat's off to these great groups of students who will be our Future Leaders, Way to make a difference in our Future.

I just complete updating the dates into the calandar from 2005, 2006 & 2007
in 2005 - 30 presentations
in 2006 - 48 presentations
in 2007 - 50 presentations (so far)
Now if I wish I had number of people that I have spoken but I don't, cause that would be really cool to see. I have been speaking sense Feb 14, 1999 at My very first Youth Jam by MADD Minnesota. The day after finding out that Alcohol was involved in Our Crash. But I do not have my calandar's from 1999-2004 But what I can tell is it has been a lot.
Loving this new website. Renae

Wow Wee !
I can not believe that the summer of 2007 is almost to an end... Our family has had a great summer...Very busy with the many activities and groups at Prairie River Camp.
Benjamin is working at the welding shop with Joel this last week before school starts, Amanda is caughting up on her sleep it is tough to be 13. Anna is counting down the days before next Tuesday for her last year of Preschool.
I am thankful to be able to spend the summer with my children and husband doing the things we love to do most.

Renae is now booking assemblies for the 2007-2008 school year! To reach Renae and schedule your date, go to the Contact page!

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend. He referred to the dates on her tombstone from the beginning ... to the end.


He noted that first came the date of her birth and spoke of the following date with tears but he said what matters most is of all
was the dash in between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth
and now only those who loved her
know what the little line is worth.


For it maters not, how much we own,
the cars...the house... the cash

What matters is how we live and love..
and how we spend our dash.


So think about this long and hard;
are there things you'd like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.


If we could just slow down enough
to consider what's true and real...
and always try to understand
they way other people feel.


And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives....
like we have never before.



If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile...
remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read.....
with your life's action being rehash....
would you be proud of the things they say ...
about how you spent your dash?
By Linda Ellis